there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
