Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
