hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
