New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize