just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
