I accidentally burped into my bong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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