if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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