I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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