Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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