Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
