Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
