I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
