I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
