in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
