He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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