Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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