what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
