you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
