I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize