Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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