so explain again why im purple
no
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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