okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Vodka?
Forever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
