I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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