Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
