he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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