carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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