you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
