Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
