i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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