apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
