I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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