so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
