I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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