y did u give ur computer a hand job?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
