Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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