oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize