If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
God I need to hump something, right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
