guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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