omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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