So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
