so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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