Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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