Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
