The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
