Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's like heaven, but drunker
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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