im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
