Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
