i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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