i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
