I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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