we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize