I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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