You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
