she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
