Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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