Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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