No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
