Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
