she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
