I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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