just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
