he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize